from Dublin to........Mirissa, Sri Lanka: The Dwarf Kidnapping, Dubrovnik (Croatia)

Dubrovnik is an incredibly scenic city (more a large town than city to my surprise). The old (fortified) town is a brilliant little area to wander around and will get you fit (or tired) too as there are many steep stairways, however this affords nice views over the rooftops down the narrow alleyways.

The city walls are quite high so you sometimes forget you are perched on the rocky outcrop right by the sea, until you slip through one of the handful of small archways to the cliff edge cafes from where you can dive into the water below (not really recommended as can be quite high and dangerous). The best way to get acquainted with the Old Town is to walk along the city wall (Kn70), a very new tourist activity. I recommend later afternoon to avoid the tour groups and take advantage of the better light/colours and avoid the heat of the day. Last entry at 6pm and need to be off by 7pm….late enough to watch the sunset (just).

It’s a relatively expensive town. Most backpackers are a little shocked when they arrive – it’s not too bad though…still affordable for us.

Dubrovnik turned out to be a relatively lazy affair, perhaps because there isn’t a huge amount to see and do and I had booked four nights in advance (probably one too many). The hostel I stayed at (Fresh* Sheets) is the only one in the Old Town. Run by the witty Princess Maria, and Kat, it turned out to be a great place to hang out. Meet plenty of good people there.

Activities:

* Climb the hill over-looking the Old Town - Donned the running gear to attempt to run as much of the hill as I could manage. The back alleys which take you to the start of the path were all stairs, so limited running there. Found the trail (eventually), a rocky path zig-zagging up to the castle, much of it unrunnable without risky breaking an ankle. Ran what I could. When I reached the top an American couple that had seen me weaving my way up commented that I was crazy. It was a bit warm.

Great view from the top. Not easy to take a decent photo though as you are always shooting towards the sun and the hill top often seemed to have a slight haze or cloud forming despite blue sky everywhere else and the peak only being 410 metres.

* War Photo Museum – Sombre collection of photos from the civil war 20 years ago plus other photos from more recent civil unrest in nearby countries. Entry is only about 5 dollars and worth a look. I had arrived from Turkey that day, spending a sleepless evening and morning in the airport. Whilst starring at a photo I managed to fall asleep standing up – scared the heck out of me.

* Lokrum Island – A popular half/full day trip to the nearby peacock infested island. Went there with four of the girls from the hostel whom I had been out with the previous night(s). Most people come here to swim (not really any beaches that we could find other than at the mariner – there is another somewhere). You can wander around the ruins and through the olive grove, cacti plants and eucalypt trees in the botanic garden. There is a small fort at the peak (take the path immediately to the right around the cove once you alight the ferry! - we couldn’t find our way there).

A popular swimming spot is the Dead Sea pool, a sea feed swimming hole that is easily accessible and a good alternative to jumping into the sea off the rocks (bit dangerous when windy as you can easily get smashed up against the rocks when trying to get back out).

* Kidnap a drunk midget – I can’t claim that I did this but I was out with the guys who did it that night and it is a very funny story. I choose not to go to the club where it all happened. A few of us were out at the Gaffe Irish pub in the Old Town trying to chat up a few very hot Croatian girls. After much work, and some very random comments from the Cameron Dias look-like, it was closing time at the pub. I had been out to the club (set in the city wall, Revelin) two nights earlier and I wasn’t interested in going there again (not overly busy this time of year, expensive and I was knackered), but the boys were keen to kick on. When they got to the club they found a midget there, drunk off his tits carving up the dance floor. I had seen him there two nights earlier as well, seemingly by himself. He looked vaguely familiar for some reason but couldn’t work out why. Zack was sure he was the midget featured in Jackass.

Somehow they all left at the same time. The midget was too drunk to remember how to get back to his hotel so the guys walked him back. His little legs struggled with the stairs and his didn’t appreciate being picked up and carried. The all came back to the hostel. Zack brought him inside hoping he would do something crazy like on the Jackass movie. They crashed through the blocked off common area at 4am (I was still awake and heard them), broke into the beer fridge and continued drinking. The midget wasn’t doing anything crazy. He passed out shortly thereafter on the common-room couch (thinking he was in his 5-star hotel) whilst the others thoughtfully took photos of him unconscious. He had no idea where he was. The funny thing was that he slept sucking his thumb like a baby!

In the morning when Maria arrived to open up the hostel, she opens the door to find beer bottles everywhere and someone asleep on the couch. She phones up the hostel owner to inform him ‘there is a midget asleep on the couch!’. The hostel owner was in hysterics. Maria didn’t know who the hell he was and booted him out after making him pay for all the missing beers (which he didn’t even drink in the end). The midget wasn’t impressed about being woken up and kicked out of this supposed “suite”. Shortly after, it was discovered that the midget was in fact none other than Tyrion Lannister, the Imp, the Half-man (aka Peter Dinklage) from The Game of Thrones HBO series playing his exact character in real life. The Kings Landing scenes are shot in Dubrovnik and they were filming in town when I was there. Needless to say he didn’t show up on set that day.

Places to try (or not):

- Gaffe Irish Pub – Another Irish pub that thinks it is ok to sell Strongbow cider. Otherwise it is usually quite busy. If not, try the other one 20 metres around the corner.

- Revelin Club – Basically the only one in town. Average but really depends who you go with.

- Lokander Seafood Restaurant (on the mariner). Reasonable value given location. Had a huge seafood risotto that was more like a gumba.

- Toni’s Pasta – Maria swears by it. I had a weird gnocchi Bolognese and an ok (four kinds of) fungi pasta. Bit hit and miss.

- Ice-cream – seems to be shit everywhere in Croatia. Don’t bother.

- The market in the main square – massive tourist trap.

- Taj Mahal Bosnian Restaurant – Didn’t get to eat here as it was always full. Someone try it for me. Supposed to be very good.

- D’Vino Wine Bar (Old Town) – Reasonable wine bar. Enjoyed the Matsuko postup (Croatian red). Run by an Aussie.